


Missing You

by taylorgibbs



Category: NCIS
Genre: Drama, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-27
Updated: 2009-12-27
Packaged: 2017-10-05 08:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylorgibbs/pseuds/taylorgibbs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year later, McGee remembers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing You

A year after your death…

Nothing seems the same. I've lost a lot of my drive for work. Going to autopsy and seeing Palmer there still feels wrong, Ducky. We were a unit for years, and colleagues even longer.

As you lay there in the hospital bed, the machines beeping their alarms, I knew I was losing you once and for all. A heart attack had taken you from me, something that no other circumstance could do.

And your mother followed only days later. I hope you're together now.

Tony and I have started going to the house on weekends, making small improvements and repairs, landscaping the grounds. Even Gibbs has come along on occasion, even though we know he's all about playing with the wood. And who knew Tony was such a good gardener?

Maybe some day I'll start thinking of it as my house again. I know you gave it to me, but it still doesn't feel real.

After your first heart attack, I resented you pushing me toward Tony. I didn't want to think of you as mortal, as old or near death. But you knew, oh wise one. You knew your time was at a minimum. Even Gibbs knew it, the sadness in his eyes rivaling the aftermath of Jenny's death a couple of years ago.

Oh, Ducky, I still miss you to the core of my being. Those nights spent in the study, me working on my book, you reading one of your dry medical texts, were the closest to perfect for me. I miss your companionship even more than our carnal activities.

But you left me in good hands. Tony's hands. It is so different with him, but he watches out for me and in his own way, he loves me.

So, I'll endure, even though I'll never be the same.


End file.
